Who Picks Out the Engagement Ring? Him, Her, or a Multitude?
Since online diamond buying is still only a small fraction of overall diamond sales, the odds are great that when you’re ready to get engaged, you will visit a jewelry store, and one that is almost certainly within 50 miles of where you live.
So here are some insights into the engagement ring buying process. Prepare thyself. ☺
Selling engagement rings was always an interesting experience when I was working in our family jewelry store.
Why? Because it was never really “carved in stone” just to whom I was selling: the guy, the girl, the girl’s parents, the girl’s friends, the guy’s friends, the guy’s parents, or a combination of all of the above.
Here are six typical “engagement ring shopping” scenarios.
- THE SHOPPING COUPLE: This was the most common scenario I’d see. The couple would come in and the girl would try on rings. She’d decide which one she liked, and then they’d leave. The guy would then come back later, either alone or with a friend, and buy the ring she had picked out. Y’know, so he could surprise her with it. Sometimes, I became part of the charade, usually by acknowledging the guy’s clandestine signal for me to hold the ring for him. Of course, the girl knew what he was doing, but I played along and would usually say something like, “Stop back if you’d like to see it again, or give me a call if you have any questions,” and then hand them my card. In this scenario, I would usually see the guy again within a few hours.
- THE GIRLFRIEND CONCLAVE: This was also a common scenario. The fiancée to be would come in with her sister, sisters, girlfriend, girlfriends, or a combination of these nearest and dearest and try on rings — turning to her companions for a continuous stream of opinion, advice, and suggestions. She would then ask me to write down the details of the one she liked, and one of her girlfriends would then be given the assignment of getting this info to the boyfriend.
- THE GUY ON HIS OWN: This was a tough one, because without knowing what his girlfriend liked — and women do know what they like and/or want when it comes to diamond rings — the guy was floundering, and would usually have a bewildered expression on his face that bordered on panic. A three-quarter carat marquise? A full carat round? A half-carat oval? The guy had no idea which one his beloved would love, so he would usually have to come back with someone. Which brings us to ...
- THE GUY AND HIS GIRLFRIEND’S BEST FRIEND: This scenario was hilarious because, essentially, the girlfriend’s best friend did the shopping. She would try on rings, ask questions, look at matching wedding bands, and I would always work with her while the guy stood there, awaiting the proclamation which would result in him pulling out his credit card. The guy was always confident in this scenario that he was buying the right ring because if there is anything BFFs know, it’s what kind of engagement ring they each want.
- THE GUY AND HIS FATHER: Sometimes a guy would bring his Dad in with him while looking for rings. This scenario was very close to the “Guy On His Own,” because, in most cases, the father was clueless as to what his son’s girlfriend would want, too. These visits were usually brief.
- THE GUY AND HIS BUDS: This scenario could be good or bad, depending on who the guy brought with him. If the guy had a friend who had already successfully executed the Engagement Ring Purchase, then he’d be in pretty good shape. But if the one or more friends he brought with him had never done it, then this was usually a fruitless endeavor. His friends would confuse and distract him, and after looking at a few rings, he’d tell me he’d come back. The next time I’d see him would usually be Scenario 4, bringing in his girlfriends best friend. The guy needed help, but he realized his friends would not be much use.
My personal favorite was the Shopping Couple, with the Guy and His Girlfriend’s Best Friend a close second.
Why? Because in those situations, the girl would always get the ring she really wanted. And in the end, that’s all that really matters.
